She's a friend of a friend whom I've met a few times at dinner parties. She'd be vetted (after all, everyone knows your acquaintances don't have herpes), but easy enough to avoid afterwards.Ī candidate soon emerges. I decide the ideal woman would be a sexy acquaintance. We rule out advertising for a third party online, since that seems like an open call for an STD. 'Yes, I mean, I just think it's extraordinary!' she says, blushing. One of them, a single banker who's nearing 40 herself, grimaces and then goes silent. I'm not sure who'd be tempted and who'd be appalled.įinally, over brunch, we summon the courage to discuss our plans with friends of my husband. Straight women don't tend to compare same-sex fantasies. I'm envisioning this as a one-off.Īnyway, I wouldn't know which one to ask. And I don't want someone creating a wedge in our cosy twosome. There's the enormous potential for awkwardness. But although I'm a novice, I'm pretty sure that recruiting a friend would be a mistake. It turns out that practically every woman we know would make the cut. 'Would she be acceptable?' I ask my husband. PAMELA DRUCKERMAN: What my husband really wanted wasn't a good, but a service: a threesome with me and another woman Occasionally, I mention the name of a female friend. We agree on it in principle, but the idea is so exotic that for a few weeks it just sits there. I like what the threesome signifies: that we aren't sliding quietly into middle age. And I pity him heading into his 40s consigned to sleeping with the same woman (me) for the rest of his life. I'm also daunted by the price tag on a Rolex. As a journalist, I have trouble resisting a deadline. This time, however, I spontaneously say yes. The idea wasn't unappealing, but it seemed logistically and emotionally complicated.
I'd always brushed it off with an eye roll and an 'in your dreams'.
He'd mentioned this fantasy before, as had practically every man I'd ever dated. But when I mention the watch, he says that what he really wants isn't a good, but a service: a threesome with me and another woman. It would declare to the world that - despite his tattered sweaters - he's an employed adult. So for his 40th, I decide to buy him a vintage watch. He once declared he has enough trousers to last the rest of his life. The question that arises on my husband's birthday is always the same: 'What do you get for the man who has everything?' He isn't a shopper.
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